The Bright Side of Menopause: A Love Letter to My Midlife Self
If you had asked me ten years ago what I thought menopause would feel like, I probably would’ve braced myself.
I imagined discomfort, mood swings, hot flashes, and maybe feeling invisible. I didn’t imagine feeling more rooted in my truth or more free.
And yet, here I am—midlife, in the thick of perimenopause—and surprisingly, there is light in this transition.
It’s not always easy. My sleep has changed, my body feels softer, old workout routines no longer work, and my energy isn’t what it used to be. But what’s emerging beneath these changes is a quieter kind of strength—a woman who no longer feels the need to prove herself. I’m learning to meet my body with curiosity instead of criticism, allowing myself to take breaks instead of constantly hustling. I understand that this journey will take time for me to accept, and that’s okay.
This is the version of me I’m growing into—and maybe she’s worth getting to know.
🧠 Menopause Is More Than a Hormonal Shift
Menopause has been more than just a biological milestone for me; it has felt like an emotional and spiritual journey. During this phase, I've found myself reflecting on my identity—am I still the nurturing mother I once was, or am I moving toward the wisdom of the Crone? This time has encouraged me to let go of old expectations, redefine myself, and reconnect with myself beyond the pressures of productivity, youth, or perfection.
As my estrogen and progesterone levels have declined, I've noticed changes in my body and priorities. Things that once seemed important no longer carry the same weight.
I've begun to ask myself some important questions: What do I want? Do I crave that glass of wine, or is it just habit? What have I been tolerating in my life that no longer serves me?
And sometimes, I wonder, who am I now that I'm not responsible for holding everything together for everyone else?
These questions have become sacred, guiding me through this transformative phase of life.
🌱 The Unexpected Gifts of Menopause
Let me share what I’m learning—and what I witness in the women I work with every day:
🔥 You care less about pleasing and more about peace.
The filter gets thinner. You start to notice what feels good and what doesn't, becoming less afraid to honor your feelings. You value your time and energy, using them wisely. I've realized that my most important currency in life is my time. I don’t want to waste it; I think this became clear to me when I became a mother and approached the age of my mother's passing.
Do I need to go out, or do I need to stay in? Who do I want to spend my time with? Right now, it’s my daughter and husband. We have been a family of three, and with her in high school, turning 18, and potentially leaving our home soon, I want to cherish every moment with her—even if she doesn’t always like me around. Turning 18 and possibly leaving our home, I want to cherish every second with her, even if she doesn't want me around.
🌿 You return to your body—on new terms.
Yes, the changes can be complex. But there's also an invitation to slow down and listen, to nourish instead of push, to touch your skin and say, "Thank you." In a world of hustle, your body demands you listen, so listen to it. At this time, it knows precisely what you need.
💬 You speak up more.
Many women find their voice in midlife, whether in relationships, work, or family. You start saying what you mean. You stop apologizing for your needs.
🌀 You shed shame around sexuality.
Your relationship with desire might shift, but it also deepens. Many women feel more emotionally present and spiritually connected during intimacy. You're not performing anymore; you're feeling!
🌕 You reclaim your time, feeling empowered and in control. If your caregiving years are winding down, you might ask: What now? And the answer can be expansive—art, travel, career shifts, creativity, or rest. What feeds your soul?
👩🏽⚕️ When to Seek Support
Just because this transition holds beauty doesn’t mean you must go it alone.
You can (and should) get support for symptoms that affect your quality of life. Whether it’s low libido, anxiety, insomnia, or body pain—there are options.
I often recommend my clients build a support team that can include:
Your OB/GYN or primary care doctor
A functional medicine practitioner who takes a whole-body approach
A naturopath who can help with supplements, hormones, or nutrition
And, of course—a therapist to process emotions, grief, identity shifts, or trauma that may resurface during this time
I also use EMDR therapy in my work to help women clear what no longer serves them—old wounds, patterns, and beliefs—so they can walk forward with more clarity.
🧡 This Is Your Becoming. It’s not all doom and gloom.
Midlife is not a crisis. It’s a crossroads.
And menopause? It’s not a loss—it’s a transformation, a new beginning filled with possibilities.
You’re not disappearing. You’re unfolding.
You’re becoming a version of yourself that is less filtered, more intuitive, more unapologetically whole.
And if you’re somewhere in that middle place—between who you were and who you’re becoming—I see you.
Remember, you're not alone in this journey. I'm right there with you, offering my support and understanding.
If you’re looking for a space to talk through this shift, cry, rage, laugh, or reclaim your spark—I’d be honored to walk with you. Also offering group support starting in May!
I offer virtual therapy across California and in-person sessions in the San Francisco Bay Area
💌 Let’s connect: Schedule a free 15-minute consultation
